No Trespassing!

Sometimes I get to believe that the great love and affinity that I have for cats comes from the many things I share with domestic felines in terms of habits and likes: I like to sleep in the sun, I don’t like to be told what to do, I love to stretch, I am curious and I am very protective of my territory.

Yes, I am territorial. I understand also that not every human shares this characteristic with me. I have friends that would happily lend their apartments or cars to a friend, of a friend, of a cousin. I wouldn’t.

You want to stay in my house? You got to be my family or my good friend… and you should not stay for too long.

This week while preparing to leave for vacation I made arrangements with our usual house sitter. It is a requirement of the company in which my husband works to have someone staying in the house while we are away. I have a friendly relationship with the house sitter and for us it is convenient that she stays because she takes care of the cats and of the house. For her staying is profitable because the company pays her an attractive fee for Cuban standards. Everything is well until she asks me if her boyfriend can stay with her.

I knew the question was coming, she is in love, it is a new boyfriend, and the thought of three weeks without spending the night together is almost unbearable. I knew it was coming and I was prepared to say yes. So… yes, he can stay.

I hope they have a good time and I hope they take good care of my house; but I have to acknowledge that the idea of a stranger staying in my place while I am not around, sleeping in my bed, bathing in my shower, using by kitchen, mingling with my cats, watching my TV, relaxing in my sofa and in close proximity with all my personal things, is not an idea that makes me feel totally comfortable.

There is an online community that some of my friends have used to travel while on a budget, it is called www.couchsurfing.org. The idea is that you can stay in strangers couches (or spare beds), and strangers can stay in your couch… a stranger in my couch?! No, thank you!

Still I admire people that are capable of this no-boundaries hospitality. I met three couch surfers that at some point or other stayed at my friend's Sandra’s couch. “You are going to be murdered one day,” I used to tell her. She hasn’t been murdered so far and she has had nice experiences opening her house to strangers.

But as much as I admire this hospitality I don’t want it, I don’t have it in me and I don’t need it; and while surfing the Internet I have found I am not the only one with territoriality issues. “Why anyone would voluntarily have a complete stranger stay in their house (…) is beyond me,” says a commentator on a forum about Couch Surfing. “I'm such a crab (Cancer, that is), I can't just invite anyone to my shell and I don't want to sleep in a stranger’s one. It's a cool idea for those who don't mind and sounds like an awesome way to meet people, it's just not for me,” said another commentator. I am a Cancer too.

But interestingly enough it seems that my territoriality has a scientific reason. Just as most vertebrate animals, humans are by nature territorial, scientists believe.

“Just as a dog cocks its leg to deposit its personal scent on the trees in its locality, so the human animal cocks its leg symbolically all over his home base,” says Desmond Morris, a British zoologist and researcher in animal behavior it a document titled Territorial Behavior.

There are many other references on the science forums on the Internet about human territorial behavior, most agree that humans tend to share this characteristic with other animals, peeing in the wall is not just for dogs (as said in one of these forums).

For now I am willing to look the other way and let a stranger walk in my territory, it is an exception. But other than that I am perfectly OK hissing at any stranger that steps on my lawn.

 

Cuban Restaurant's Review 1

This “ups and downs” column was first published in www.cubaabsolutely.com for their December edition. Still I want to share it in my blog.

In the last couple of years the Havana dining scene has been growing nonstop with more paladares, different cuisine options, innovative interior decors and interesting menus. Nevertheless, as much as some of the new (and old) options are an “UP,” many paladares have also shown some “DOWNS.” Here we mention a few of the “ups” and “downs” found recently in the restaurants and bars of the city.

 

DOWNS:

Wine selection at Rio Mar: This is a handsome paladar in Miramar, in the area known as La Puntilla. It is located by the water, the view is great and the décor is gorgeous. Nevertheless this paladar has failed to deliver wine options for the drinkers looking for an unexpensive food-friendly red. In the last visits we have been presented not with a wine list but with an array of bottles with complicated labels from France, Spain, Argentina and Chile with prices ranging from 35 to 85 cucs per bottle. Come on! What about an unpretentious Villa Maipo or Santa Digna for the unpretentious drinkers?

The waitress’ attitude at La Carboncita: La Carboncita is one of the best pizza places in town, service is quick, food is delicious, prices are more than affordable and the owner is super kind and friendly to say the least. Unfortunately that friendliness is a characteristic that most of the female waiters at the place do not share. In the last visits they were unhelpful, dismissive and rude. One of them gave us a table with three chairs (while we were four) and never volunteered to bring a chair or look for one, and then demanded our order one minute after handing us one menu for all of us… she looked quite unhappy when we asked for a couple of extra minutes and more menus. Anyway girls, the restaurant is already great, wouldn’t hurt to wear a smile once in a while! Get rid of that ‘tude.

The flies at Dr. Café: This is a real down and a real pity. The restaurant is far from spectacular in terms of its décor, but it is really great when it comes to its grilled entrees, such as the barbecue ribs, the beef filet, the chorizos (or sausages), plus other options such as the lobster, shrimp kebab and garlic shrimp just to name a few. The prices are good, the wine options are plenty but so are the flies… yes, the flies! If you choose the outdoor sitting option prepare yourself to be fighting against an army of flies through your meal. My suggestion for Doctor Café: more fans and more fumigating.

The fiddler at Chaplin’s: This fairly new paladar in Miramar has really good-looking indoor and outdoor sitting areas. The food options are good and the prices reasonable. Nevertheless the management has decided (I am sure with good intentions) to provide entertainment for the evening guests in form of a fiddler with a very limited repertoire. In one of the recent visits we listened to the same songs three to four times. My suggestion to the fiddler: increase your repertoire or take longer breakes.

 

UPS:

The mojito at Partenon: This has been an “up” since Javier Acosta (the owner) opened this paladar in Miramar almost two years ago. The mojito is a multi-sensory experience: it is not only beautiful to look at, it is refreashing, tasty and, given its size, challenging. Each mojito is made at the moment you order, so instead of pre-made mixes, you get  fresh squeezed lime and mint “du jour.” I would not be afraid to say it is the best mojito in Havana and it is worth the trip to Partenon where one can also find some of the best food and service in town.

The oxtail at La Comercial: According to my dinning accomplices this could be one of the best kept secrets in Havana. The oxtail in La Comercial is indeed a mouth-watering experience, a hearty stew with obvious hours of careful and skillful cooking behind it. The dish is served to your plate from beautiful antique bowls and it is usually advisable to match it with a starchy side dish: mashed potatoes or white rice will do.

Bar stools at Casa Miglis: Named as the Best Paladar in Centro Havana by Cuba Absolutely, Casa Miglis has done many things right since its opening almost a year ago. The food is good, the prices are affordable, the service is fast and friendly, and the décor is fun, eclectic and modern. Nevertheless the barstools stand out: they are antique wooden dining room chairs suported by a rod that gives them appropiate height of a bar stool. They are fun and they are original. Stop for a drink and see them for your self!

Birthday brownie at Café Laurent: This “up” is a great example that it doesn’t take a lot to make a great impresion. Just recently celebrating a birthday with a group of friends in the beautiful Café Laurent, the management volunteered a delicious brownie, on the house, with a candle and even brought the wait staff to join in the singing of “Felicidad” the traditional birthday song in Cuba. May seemed small, but it brought a lot of smiles to our table. And, I have to say that the brownie was delicious, we end up ordering more of those… so, even if it is not your birthday consider tasting this amazing dessert.

 

 

Instructions to visit Cuba

Many of the people around me know that I spend a fair amount of time whining and complaining about Cuba. This country that has been our home for the last five years has a big amount of challenges. Nevertheless, I love it; I find it interesting, fascinating, fun, and beautiful. And if you can, you should visit it… even if you are an American.

And if you decide to come and visit there is some information that I think would be useful for the first time travelers. So, here are some instructions that I think will help you get the most out of your trip and avoid disappointments from false expectations:

1. - Do not come expecting great food. In the last two years Havana has been flooded with private restaurants thanks to the economic reforms implemented by Raul Castro that allow people to establish small business. Some of these eateries (called Paladares) are really good for Cuban standards, but in general the food offered in the island moves in a range that goes from “good” to “uneatable.” The later is found usually in the state run restaurants and hotels (avoid those).

2. - Bring you own toiletries. Thinking something like “I’ll buy the conditioner over there,” or “the hotel will have toothpaste,” may leave you without conditioner and toothpaste for the whole trip. This applies for any other toiletry: shampoo, shaving cream, hair mouse, deodorant, tampons… Don’t worry about the toilet paper, though, I have only seen it disappear from the stores once in my five year stay in here.

3. - Ignore people who call you on the streets. Believe me, you will have plenty of opportunities to talk to interesting Cubans and learn from them about this country and its culture; and believe me again, there will be many (I mean, many) Cubans that will try to initiate a conversation with you in the streets usually by asking you where are you from and then saying that they have a cousin or a friend that lives in whatever country you mention. Invariably it will go from there to tell you that they need some medicine (that they expect you to pay for), or that they now a wonderful restaurant (where you will supposed to buy them lunch), or that they can get you cheap cigars (that would be the worst counterfeit ones you can find). And then… after all that, you will really have to work hard in order to get rid of your new best friend.

4. - Stay in a casa, rather than a hotel. This is, to me, the best way to see and enjoy Cuba. The “casas particulares” are basically bed and breakfasts set in people’s houses. They are great for three main reasons: they give you the opportunity to interact with the family that owns the house and learn from there, they are usually way cheaper than a hotel (an average of 35 dollars per night), and they have way better service and food than most hotels. There are several websites that list these houses, just google “casa particular Cuba,” Also, the website www.tripadvisor.com features many of the casas with a lot of photos and reviews by previous customers, check it out.

5. - Or stay at Hotel Nacional. I mean, if you really want to stay in a hotel at least stay in one with some character, like Hotel Nacional, a historic beautiful building that overlooks the Straits of Florida. It is a really nice place. If possible stay at the 6^th floor (which is the executive service floor) where you will have the best service and best rooms in the place. And if you don’t stay there make sure to stop by for a drink in the garden terrace or for the tour of the hotel, offered everyday around 10 a.m.

6. - Admire a sunset in Malecon. This is a most. Get yourself some beer, or plastic cups and a bottle of wine and sit in the Malecon (sea walk) to admire one of the most beautiful sunsets you eyes have ever seen. Another good place to do this is at the bar El Polvorín, on the other side of the bay and down from the Morro fort, but you will need a taxi to get there (it is worth it), unlike Malecón which is at a walking distance from most of the popular places in the city.

7. - Pick your museums carefully. This is especially important if you don’t have a lot of time to spend in Havana. I have two main recommendations: unless you are a super admirer of the Cuban Revolution, avoid the Revolution Museum, which is in desperate need of a good curator and English translations, and don’t miss the Cuban art museum (behind the Revolution one), it has a really good collection of Cuban classic, modern and contemporary art.

8. - Visit Viñales and Trinidad (if you have time). Viñales could be done in a day; it is a beautiful valley with very unusual hills (called mogotes in Spanish). The town is pretty, picturesque and small, with plenty of casas to spend the night at (if you decide to do so) and some private restaurants. Trinidad (or any of the further towns) will take you at least one or two nights. It is located about 4 hours east from Havana and it is a beautiful tiny colonial town which happens to be one of the UNESCO’s World Heritage sites. If you have the time it is worth it.

9. - Do not go to Varadero. This, to me, is a real waste of time unless you are spending a huge time in Cuba. The beach is beautiful; no question about it, but the rest of the Varadero experience is not worth it. Here is how it goes: the place is covered by all inclusive resorts in all the range of prices and amenities, but food is usually bad, service is poor, and the reggaeton in the pool is loud. Only the priciest hotel (which goes for up to 430 dollars a night in the Royal Service area) provides really good service and food (sometimes), but for half of that price you can find much better in, say… Cancun.

10. – There are some places you got to visit. Among this a Cigar factory, there are tours every weekday of this very interesting places where the famous Cuban cigars are produced, the island’s most famous product; also you got to visit Ernest Hemingway’s house, also known as Finca Vigia, an beautiful property (now a museum) that where the acclaimed writer lived for years before; and another most is La Guarida, a private restaurant famous for the movie Fresa y Chocolate, it is located in a rundown but beautiful beauty in Central Havana

11. – If you are American make sure to travel legally. Even if you don’t, chances are you are not going be caught, but since I believe I should not be promoting illegal activities in my blog I am going to tell you of some of the ways that you can make it legal in case you are American. The general license to travel includes religious and academic reasons, plus journalists. So I guess that means that if you attend a conference here or if you are writing a blog, you are covered by the license. Then, you can also join some of the “people to people” groups that come from the U.S. The problem with those is that they usually have a schedule of things to do and give you little room to do what you want. If you decide to come on you own, then it is easy, catch a plane to Mexico City or Cancun (there are other destinations such as Bahamas) and then fly to Cuba.

 

I will keep on lying…

 

Lately, on the wake of the Lance Armstrong doping scandal there has been a lot of talk about lying and cheating in the news and other Internet sources. Probably any person that has followed the rise and fall of this most famous athlete wonders how could he have lied so much, lied his way up to the very top, deny his lies for years and even sue and bully people confronting him with the truth. How could he do that? Armstrong is now in the elite group of famous liars that fell from grace such as John Edwards, Berny Madoff… or even Richard Nixon.

It is especially difficult to find some empathy for these big liars, even in the face of their apologies. It is difficult because they hold their lies for so long, they were arrogant, unlikable, made money or achieved power while telling lies, and on top they were jerks. They seem to belong to an especial category of liars.

But guess what? I lie, you lie, he lies, all of us lie… and maybe more often that one would ever think. A physiologist who analyzed the Armstrong’s lies on TV after the interview the cyclist gave to Oprah Winfrey, said that in average every human being tells about 11 lies a day! The number seemed a little bit high for me and I truly made the effort to concentrate in my lies of that day and I couldn’t immediately find one.

The website Psychology Today mentioned a study published by Human Communication Research in 2010, which found that the average human being tells 1.64 lies per day. Now, that seems a bit low for me. Just as the author of the article in Psychology Today, Gad Saad, I believe that maybe the subjects in the research were lying about the amount of lies they tell!

In any case I have tried to be more conscious of my own lies. And yes I have lied in the last few days. Not much, but I have done it, and usually in order to avoid hurting people. But a lie is a lie… isn’t it? We all know since we are little that we should not lie, our parents tell us that lying is bad, the Bible tell us it is a sin, that the truth will set us free… is that so?

I believe that truth is the way, but sometimes the truth can get you into unnecessary trouble. My nephew, for example, told me that he constantly makes a conscious effort not to lie. Nevertheless, he said, telling the truth all the time has gotten him in hot water with friends and acquaintances.

Let’s just imagine a typical scenario: A girl from work invites me to her wedding, but I don’t know any of her friends or family, I fear I am going to get bored, I hate weddings in general and on top of all my favorite show is airing that same night of the wedding. Of course I not going to go with my friend and say “you know what? I hate weddings and I really rather stay at home watching TV instead.” No! We don’t do that. We usually say something like: “I would have love to, but unfortunately it is my mom’s birthday and we have a party planned for her…”

And if I go to the wedding I will tell my friend that I had a great time instead of “this is one of the most boring events I have ever attended.” Right? The lie is the right thing to say in this case.

So, I hope my friends lie if I invite them to a boring affair, it would hurt my feelings if they tell me they are more interested on what ever is on TV. And, for me, I will keep lying, but only when necessary… but I definitely won’t lie in order to dope, nor to lead a ponzi scheme, nor to cover up a conspiracy.